The Great Movie Review: The Last Crusade

Nazis. I hate these guys. I've been waiting like a month and a half to show this movie. This movie is one of my favorites. It's currently number 4 on my top 10 list of my all time favorite movies. Right behind The Village, Harvey and The Incredibles. Aren't you glad you pushed through Tod?

So this movie takes it back to the tone and styling of Raiders. It's pretty much a self contained movie. Really all three of the movies are self contained, but this one contains the best exposition. There's no need to see Raiders or Tod if you see The Last Crusade. I say that, you really should watch all three, but if you were going to pick just one, let it be Last Crusade. Also, it has Sean Connery in it. Interesting fact from the special features, Sean is only about 16 years older that Harrison. How weird is that?

And while we're talking about girls ... we finally get a lead female character with more than one dimension. I don't know what Val's opinion was this time. She wouldn't say. Which I assume means she now has a new role model, or something really close to that.

Honestly, I don't know what to say. It's the best of the three. There is good character development, humor, solid acting and all of the gunslinging, whiplashing and Indiana Jonesing that we've come to know and love. If you watch any of the Indy movies, WATCH THIS ONE!

PS - He takes out this tank!

Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989)

Group Rating (out of 5):

Stevox: 5
Valerie: 3
Kyle: 5
Micah: 4
Jenny: 4

Averages to 4.2 flaming mechanical rats out of 5.

Shares this rating with The Apartment and Almost Famous.

In a zombie outbreak; The Apartment. Because they can hole up until the National Guard shows up. Almost Famous wouldn't make it through the initial outbreak due to intoxication, and Indy can't stay out trouble for more than five minutes.

The Great Movie Review: The Temple of Doom

Talk about your let downs right? I know I made it out be all kinds of mind blowingly coolness through all the movies, but I had to get you to push through. You just gotta push through the Temple of Doom. Not only is it the most ridiculous, it's also the darkest and least humorous. It's just not very fun to watch. They also made the classic kid side kick mistake. I can't decide which is more annoying Short Round or Willie (the female lead). Now, I realize that these movies are made to be an homage to the serials of the 30's, but holy cow (get it, because it was set in India) this was too much.

So let's compare Temple of Doom, henceforth referred to as Tod, with Raiders. * Spoiler Alert! In Raiders we open with a great transition from the Paramount logo to an actual mountain. We then have the exchanging/taking of an artifact. Dr. Jones is then gets into trouble and a chase scene ensues whereby he escapes by boat plane. Tod pretty copies the opening event sequence: Mountain transition, check; Priceless Artifact, check; Dr. Jones getting into trouble, double check; Chase scene that ends with Indy getting on plane; check and ... check. I don't know if it was intentional, but it happened. And if it was intentional, it probably just follows the 30's serial format even more.

So we watched Tod on Halloween. Which was my plan all along. It is so creepy. There has got to be at least one thing in this movie that makes your skin crawl, or at least throw up in your mouth a little. For me it's when they cut open the snake surprise. SURPRISE! It's live eel. Blech. And they pull out a dude's still beating heart! Think about that for a couple minutes. Or don't because it's just weird.

Valerie being our only girl this week pointed out what a terrible representation of a woman Willie, the female lead, was. She was incredibly girly, and couldn't do a thing for herself. The only helpful thing she did in the whole movie was to release the trap in the room of spikes. Which she promptly set off again. I say that, there were a couple things she did really well. You could count on her to hate everything, to whine and complain at all times, scream at everything and be a general waste of space.

I'm not going to talk about Short Round because he shouldn't have even been in the movie.

Micah grew up on these movies. Apparently he would watch them over and over, back to back as a kid. Which, to me, explains why his belt makes him feel secure and ready for anything. Need to lash yourself to something, belt. Need to beat up a bad guy, belt. Need to restrain someone, belt. Now take belt and replace it with whip. That's right, Micah is Indiana Jones.

So the next time you are looking for a movie that combines all of your favorite elements: musical numbers, gross out scenes, unnecessary heart surgery and wacky mine cart rides just remember Tod.





















Also, Dan Aykroyd (yes it is really spelled that way) is in it briefly.

The Great Movie Review: Raiders of the Lost Ark

I love Indiana Jones. Nowhere else do you find a more intelligent, suave, manly and awesome specimen of what every guy wants to be: A gun slinging, whip cracking, bar brawling, adventure dominating, woman wooing machine. In the word of David Schmitke: "He's legit." The only other person who might come close is the Man from Snowy River. Even still he is to Indian Jones, what Josh Porter is to Michael Scott.

This movie contains a great many familiar scenes to movie and tv-dom. For example: Taking the Idol, The Rolling Boulder, Shooting the Swordsman in the Market and Melting Faces. There is so much here, that as you watch the movie you realize just how much there is that you've already "seen."

Valerie made an excellent point that there isn't much to the plot. Get the ark before the Nazi's. And like Stevox always says, "Who doesn't like to hate a good Nazi." Well my friends you are in luck. Because there's a great Nazi to hate in this film as well as a Frenchman.

But what it lacks in plot it makes up for in non-stop manliness. This movie is the gateway to awesomeness. This movie begins our next theme: Indian Jones. So get ready for more posts about a great series.

Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark

Group Rating (out of 5):

Stevox: 4
Valerie: 3
Kyle: 4
Jenny: 3

Averages to 3.5 whip cracks out of 5.

Shares this rating with The Maltese Falcon, Lawrence of Arabia and Juno.

In a fight Juno. Indian Jones would whip Sam Spades (Maltese Falcon) gun right out of his hand while Lawrence of Arabia would lead a cavalry charge. Juno (prego-version) would then mock and belittle them until they all went home.